The holiday season is quickly approaching, and whether you have children or not, I have heard an urban legend that you don't want to get divorced during the holidays because it will ruin the holiday. The truth is there is a way to do this without alerting the other party and you can make it through one more holiday.
I wrote about this in another blog in 2020, and I stand by my advice, but wow, that was a long read! I imagine you are experiencing a lot of anxiety right now, and you just want an answer. Let me give you the advice I would give my best friend.
Here's the secret:
No one has to know that you are filing for divorce. (As a side note, in Colorado, we call divorce "dissolution of marriage." For simplicity's sake, I'll use the term divorce.)
We use a Colorado Court e-filing system called ISIS to file your divorce/Petition for Dissolution. Once that is filed, no one knows about it (unless they happen to search your name in the ISIS filing database and to do that, they most likely retained a lawyer and are about to file for divorce against you. Caveat: it does not matter who files first. It does not matter to the Court whether it is favorable or unfavorable.)
So why do I want to file first, then Leah? Good question. January sees the highest amount of divorce filings of any month. It sounds callous, but attorneys call it "divorce season." I'm just being honest with you here. If you are contemplating a divorce, I know you are hurting. It's one of the scariest times in a person's life, and I do not want to invalidate or undermine that feeling by using these terms.
The point is that everyone who survived the holidays is scrambling to find an attorney in January. This can lead to long wait times, which I find especially scary in relationships where there is domestic violence.
When you retain us, you are officially part of what we affectionately call "The Wolf Pack." We can create all the necessary paperwork, but we will wait for you to tell us when it is a good time to move forward with filing and how to notify the other party.
There are two ways to do this. One, I call the other party, introduce myself, and discuss the process moving forward. Two, we have the party served, which is exactly what it sounds like. We have a process server to give them the paperwork. Whichever option you choose, I just don't want it to be a surprise for you. Your safety comes first, so we will strategize how to get you out of the way when it happens. By coming on board early, we get a chance to know you, and we want to know you. We are not a mill. We take fewer cases than most because we refuse to give less than 100% of our attention to each client.
This may or may not apply to you, but the retainer payment can be made from a joint (community property) bank account, or credit card, your own bank or credit card, or a family member or friend to prevent the other party from seeing it (in that event, once we have the retainer paid, we will never bill to that account again unless that is what you would like to do). We have found that the opposing party may start trying to drain the accounts or move money around when things get contentious. Once the Petition is served, there is a mandatory injunction to prevent this. I find this very helpful because I have a legal leg to stand on, so to speak, to stop this. It is difficult to get money back when it is gone. It's not impossible, but it is difficult.
Finally, I am not exaggerating when I say we have been blessed with the best clients in the world! It is true that I am a tough pitbull attorney, but I can hardly read our Google reviews without crying. It is an honor that they chose us to represent them and to protect them and their children. In some cases, we see women get back their self-esteem and identity for the first time in years. We mean it when we say once you are part of the Wolf Pack, you are our new friend. You don't have to go through the holidays alone. We are your closed-mouth friends, and sometimes laughter is the best medicine. We will never bill you for calling us when you feel like crying. We are not watching the clock, and neither should you. Reach out!
That is a lot to take in! Our consultations are free so please do not hesitate to contact us and let's talk about your situation.
Leah
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